The dark night

Her eyes flew open as she realized that time had flown.  The dreary night, turned sultry and sometime in between that, she fell asleep.

The touch was momentary first, a soft, small trace over her arm. Her nerves tensed and she jerked minutely when he gripped her arm and pulled her close. She somehow felt she had made herself accessible. Vulnerable. 
The predatory flash in his eyes turned into decision and warmth with her continued stare. His eyes were a shade of dark amber, liquid now, just like hers.

She let herself get trapped in those strong arms that offered safety. Yes, insecurity was something he never let her feel that day.
Her skin melted like butter when his lips lightly brushed at the base of her throat. She drank in his scent and the feel of his fingers along her jawline. She shivered lightly when he kissed her at the corner of her mouth and felt the smile of content that made him curve his lips for a second. Before he covered her mouth with his, he gave himself the satisfaction of gazing into those wide, brown, powerful eyes which he so preciously admired and silently told himself that he would never leave her. No, he corrected himself. He could never leave her. There was a promise, a bonding – intangible, unsaid, unexplained, but understood.

She opened her eyes and felt his presence like she always did when she woke up at such odd hours. Lonely, drained and weary eyed, she realized she had been dreaming about that first most beautiful moment with him, yet another time.

A dream, that was all it was. Nothing more.

And that’s why she loved him

Her heart did somersaults and her eyes filled with tears.
The smile on her lips came from the heart.

Her mind was clouded with umpteen emotions and her thought process seemed to fly down to a standstill.

Yes, he had done it again. Made her smile and cry at the same time. Take her breath away n leave her speechless. She was taken aback by the clarity of his thoughts and the way his words left her tongue-tied. 
It was beyond magical, beyond anything she had ever experienced before. No, she had never allowed herself to wander that far into herself. But then, she knew she wasn’t alone. She was enjoying and rejoicing every discovery as if they were the imprints he had left on her.

And she heard it again,
“I fell in love with her again” and the smile came straight from the soul.

Random writings

When the flowers fell and the smell died, she did not wonder. When the wind whispered at a sunset and the waves wrote the message on her feet, she didn’t notice. At last, only when he turned and walked away did she realise. Her promonitions had come true and this she could not accept. She could not live with the fact that feelings would fade and people could change. 
Those days held the best memories for her  and she was not ready to part with them, to say a quick goodbye forever. 
When did it all turn upside down? She wondered aloud, but was surprised that it was just her late realizations that caused her so much pain. She refused to believe when it was obvious; consoled her confused heart that things hadn’t gone out of hand.

But now, when the dried flowers smiled sadly at her dismay and the wind whispered its humming lullaby into her ears, all she could do is scream inside, crumble up and push herself into a nut-shell and disappear forever.

She was hurt and pained.

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A Walk That Made my Day

Frustrated and tired
A walk was necessary, I decided.
A stroll through the park nearby
Made me realize what I had passed by.

A bench I found to meditate, 
To think deeply and to entertain.
Passed me ‘uncles’ and ‘aunties’ in their evening walk
Some with their headphones threatening to bulge out.
A grey-haired couple, swiftly paced the paved road,
‘Cause health, I believe, worried them a bit more.

Life around me bubbled.
A lady spoke to herself as she strolled, 
A happy family found peace on a Sunday evening, 
But the youngest son did pull his mother’s hand, 
To make his swing take him to greater heights.
Street kids sweared colloquially at each other, 
Playing unknown games with a bunch of marbles. 
Nudging at each others shorts, dirtying their tiny fists.
How free and careless they seemed to be!

And Suddenly, I realised
What I missed the most.
I confronted my past and asked,
“Won’t u tell me the answer?”
So that I will know what I want in the future!

But the reply it gave startled me.
The answer revealed my wishful thinking
The simple impossibility of it surprised me.
The reality struck me, though I didn’t know how to react.

The answer was plain and simple.

I did not know I was in darkness, 
Until I saw the light.
I did not know I hadn’t beheld pleasure,
Until I saw that family.
I did not know what I’d missed,
Until I saw those joyous children.

I wanted to be that child 
Who cried for her silly mistakes,
Loved unconditionally and felt loved, 
Where homeworks were the only burden
And fights with my best friend
Seemed like World war III.

I wanted to be that child
Who was chased around by her little brother
Whose life revolved around a game of ‘hide and seek’
Who did not mind pleasing people, but demanded to be pleased.

I wanted to be that girl again, 
Whose biggest dream was to fly
Soar higher in the sky, look down 
And feel proud that she had actually flown.
But the subtle thief Time,
Pulled the knot around my kite. 
Life moves on now, bereft dreams
But complete with expectations.

I snapped out of my trance 
Only to realize that Time had again stolen moments from my life.
Moments I had lived by, just a while ago.
You know, loneliness does the trick sometimes,
Making you visit places that you never thought 
You would step into.
Desperation, even more so.
And I was both.

This monotony has begun to frighten me,
Though life around goes on undisturbed.
I found out a dejected heart, 
A worried soul and a desperate teenage.

What next? I know not!

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Perceptions (first post here)

A photograph says it all.
A candid smile, a suppressed laughter.
Excited soul behind those deep set eyes
Words unsaid, but understood.

Nothing can be more subjective, more personal,
Nothing can be more expressive and visionary,
Than a picture that says more than what it shows.
Making us believe to look deeper and discover.
A smile, a tear, a snort or an angry groan.
Sulk, sorrow or a wonderful shine.
Moments build them up, memories save it all.
And the present is all that can be held dear,
Every second, minute and hour,
Passed once, becomes a memory
And the faces too, more or less.

I wondered why
Sorrow finds me a good partner, 
The words I write, grief-sticken.
And pessimist
Hey, but that’s not who I am!
But then, why?
Asking myself gave me no response.
So, photographs I hunted.
To perceive and interpret 
To understand and change.

Warm smiles and happy laughters evaded me,
It was all a masquerade.
No truth, but just a perception.
A facade, I believe was all that was there in the ones pictured.

Then, I realized what was missing
What was empty and incomplete.
It was me.
Monotony and complacency had replaced my gaiety,
Deceptions troubled me, changed me and lied to me
Unaware, I transformed.

What could I possibly change? 
A probability struck me; showed me a way to instill a change

I took out a camera
Set its lenses, adjusted its focus.
Corrected its exposure and lights.
Gave in no zoom and filters.
I clicked.
The picture looked raw, blunt and naked 
And i was happy and content.
‘Cause I didn’t make a change to what was already there, 
But the change stirred inside me.

I changed, my perceptions.

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