The Fleeing thief

Yes, it fled. Like every other materialistic object. Time for once did not seem immaterial to me- I could touch it, feel it and remember.

Three years of my under-grad hostel, Chennai life got over so quickly that I’m sitting down here, breathless, trying to help the realisation sink in that I have actually grown three years older in this city.
I was a part of the city and the city was a part of me. And so have the people I met here.

As I sit down by the window pane in my #38 room, alone, tired and contemplative, I found I need to let out what I actually feel towards some amazing girls who made me what I am at the end of three years.

First, my roommates for all the three years- Lakshmi and Salini for being the really amazing roomies I could ever get. I would always look back to our own special moments in the room, which I will always hold close to my heart, particularly the number of times I won catch-and-catch the night before the exams! 😛 my other roommates, Bavithra and Aparna, you guys have played a major supportive role in my life. Thanks a lot!

Ankitha- she has been my special friend since day one and has remained so till date. From being class reps in the first year to the association secretaries in the last, we have seen it all and survived till the end. Thanks for being the supportive self and being my best companion till the end. It had been an eventful three long-no, short years here with you and you did play a major part with your selfies 😛 Well, you and I know it extends beyond a few clicks on the camera, don’t we? And I’m sure it doesn’t end anywhere here. Misunderstandings don’t declare the depth of friendship, they just make us better individuals. And I guess I can call us the best example for that.
I’ll miss you, kutta.

Not to miss out on my amazing seniors Annu, Unni and Srilaxmi. I really run out of words when I think of the few, but memorable days we’ve shared. You guys are already missed badly.

GS Family- No other word than family describes what you guys mean to me. All the seven of you, Sai, Nitisha, Chiranthana, Ratna, Ramya, Keerthana and Aparna are the best girl-gang I’ve ever been part of. For a moment, it actually felt weird to call you by your first names, there.
Touchwood, to our year-long attachment and true friendship. Some really happy memories have been made in my life with you guys being around. I will never forget the clothes we shared and the accessories we borrowed 😛 In short, Bangalore days! 😀

My favourite faces in class, Manasa, Stuthi and Taruni. Finally, some fun was due in college and the five of us were the answer to my question. Thank you so much for your irritating talks, terrible singing and stealing food. Of course, the last minute in depth discussions on a question that never came for the 20 marks, we expected it for. That really made my day! 😛

To the best gift of the year for me- Svara.
You are the only person whom I regret for not meeting earlier. Your friendship has influenced me a lot and I feel elated when I think about how close we have become in too few months. Thank you for being the best listener, my adviser and for tolerating all the nonsense talk I have with you. I feel proud to have known a person who shares so many of my own tastes, opinions and ideas. I respect your talent and worship your dedication.
Stay in touch, love. I’ll miss you.

To all those people who have played a role in my Chennai life, you have defined a phase in my life that I will never forget. You are now a part of my history.

I guess it’s time I realise that today is the time for the lasts, for never will I make such memories again and never will I be part of an amazing three-year journey that just seems complete.

Chennai, you will be missed.

Imagine and not conceal

Conceal– Imaginative response to this prompt

A concealed mind once let out a deep sigh.

Frustrated it was, for having been hidden beneath the surface. This wasn’t were it belonged, it new right from the start. But, the owner had no other choice, than to keep it sealed from the rest of the world. It wondered why people ridiculed its thoughts, called the owner a fool for speaking out what it made him feel. It wasn’t nice to hear people call him brainless when it was right there all along silently asking him to do exactly what it instructed him to.

He was confused now- it could feel it. He was going through the dilemma of revealing to the world what his inner self directed him. But the poor soul, concealed his mind, shielded his true identity and hid his potential from the world, fearing that he would be laughed upon. He could not take defeat, the mind knew. And it kept murmuring to him that it would not disappoint him in front of the world. After all, they had been together since birth and it knew exactly how he felt for everything.

Though it coaxed him into believing that those people were brainless and will never know anything beyond what they see, the owner never truly believed its words. Though he  was sure his mind knew beyond what he saw and and felt, he failed to let this realization sink deep in him. No, all that lay deep down in him were the memories of his terrible childhood that made him do the distressed task of covering himself up from the world. He justified himself on the grounds of protecting his fragile heart.

“Save at least the heart, because your brains are never gonna come to your aid”, mocked his friends.

It felt weird, sensing his unhappiness for such pathetic comments from his peers. It could not bear it any longer, because the mind believed that it had to try.

‘After all, trying wouldn’t hurt anyone’ , it convinced him.

And finally, Thomas Edison decided to listen to his mind and let his imagination take the journey forward. Inventions after inventions, the world looked up and applauded him like never before. A concealed mind, thus brought out flying colors from within a young boy who was considered too dumb to be in school by his tutors.

After all, society can do nothing more than be judgemental.

Prized possession

When life almost seemed to depress me over and again, I found truth. I found purity and saw sincerity gleaming in those wide eyes. Her company I craved and her frankness I loved.

She was a free bird and I yearned to take life in a stride like how she did. Emotions never failed to dance in her eyes and the unmasked brutal frankness she expressed always made me build up a huge castle of respect for her. She was definitely not someone with the I-don’t-care attitude: It was her experiences that made her one.

She was strong and carried an aura of positiveness around her that was difficult to miss. And I didn’t miss it too.

As days went by, meeting her during the course of the day was what I always began to look upto. I never have to fake, think thrice before speaking nor wait till she realized I was actually uneasy. She never missed it. I never have to shrink myself in front of her.

Until then, I had to wait to be noticed and remembered. Until then, I had always thought about how miserable I felt in a crowd of girls who plastered themselves with a string of words, which I lately recognized as lies. I wasn’t happy until I realized that there could be people like her along with a few others who could relate to me and show me what strong bonds of friendship two girls who were initially strangers could build.

As my grad life almost comes to a close, I’m thankful for this one person who has been the best gift this year has given me. She has been the perfect example of a friend who stands through thick and thin.

Her joy has now become mine and her tears too.

Her friendship has given me the strength to look up and believe that there are good and sincere people around. To trust and to be trusted. To love and to be loved. To share and grow. Together.

Svara!

Inevitable

He woke up drenched in sweat.

He wanted to lie there and never move. He didnt want to move ahead or turn back. He felt trapped and suffocated.

His life had now come to a standstill in the middle of the night, just like how it had a few days ago. And now, he could feel it again. The nerve-wrenching pain and the blood-curling shriek. He could recollect it all like it had just happened a few hours ago. The memory was lashed with grotesqueness and he didn’t wanna go back there again tonight. Nor any other night.

The bed seemed to loathe his presence and the pillow seemed to push him away. His blanket did not offer the comfort any more, nor did he seek its coziness. Sleep-deprived, he turned once again to look at her photo hung on the wall, garlanded with an old string of white flowers.

And then his nightmare began again.

Wonder aloud

Whatever our souls are made of,
His and mine are the same.

Emily Bronte (Wuthering Heights)

Have you ever wondered how life would have been if you hadn’t met that person who was bound to change it all? If you had missed that phone call or decided not to reply to that text? If you had strolled on without giving that shy smile he had always wished to see? If you had moved ahead without turning back and locking your eyes for one split second, conveying more than what a lifetime could, without even uttering a word? If you had never dared to take that longing step forward to express what your heart desired?

Well, I just realized what I would have missed if December 2014 had decided to take a different turn and take me on an entirely longer and drearier journey in 2015.
I have bad and bad news. The first bad news is I wouldn’t have received a personal snowfall video aaalll the way from Detroit and the second bad news is I would have still remained single! Funny, isn’t it, of how engaging life can get in a year-long longing from across the globe?

I’m not gonna explain the story of how I met this wonderful person – that is left entirely to me to wonder aloud! But now I’m just wondering aloud of what life would have been if I hadn’t dared to talk! 😛
I wouldn’t have had you to miss dearly! I wouldn’t have had you to scream at when I was pissed with the whole world! I wouldn’t have had a permanent shoulder to cry on and tell me those enticingly sweet nothings which could calm me down!
Whom would I ask for a snap when I wanted to see the snow, to feel the mist and the chilled air in this hot Chennai? Whom would I long to meet, plan sneak outs and lie for?
If not for you, whom would I share my I-don’t-believe-in-VDay thoughts with and get the same opinion? Whom would I fight with for the differences and embrace the similarities? If not for you…

I would have survived, no doubt in that. But I would have just existed. And plus, time differences wouldn’t have confused me so much! 😛

She was the enemy.

She was there. Her presence irritated him now. It irritated him more than the buzzing of the mosquito. It annoyed him like anything, even worse than an uncanny talk that had left blanks throughout.

She was a stranger to him. All signs of love, affection and friendship had vanished. No, he was never close to her. He was just a convenience. A convenience to cover her crimes, to speak up for her, to guide her when she was clueless, to suggest the best for her and to post pictures with. It had always revolved around her and he was being shadowed. And like a trusting fool, he let himself be overpowered. He was always right when he argued with her, but she could never see it that way.

Her presence irritates him now as he realized what he had to compromise with for her. She was never loyal, truthful nor trust worthy. Well, maybe it was because he expected too much from her which she was never worthy of giving. Maybe it was his mistake too. No, he was no longer ready to blame himself for this as he had always done. This was just not his fault, but the outcome was. When he realized he was being demoted to being just a companion, he wasn’t shocked. He knew it all along, all too well. He was never considered despite all what he had done for her. She never stood by his side, despite all the lies he had said to cover her up in front of the society.

She was rude, arrogant, proud, dominating and disloyal. Well, loyalty is something which can be attributed to just dogs now. She was detestable and everybody else noticed, except him. He was being used at every step of the journey and he made myself vulnerable to such experiences. He couldn’t plant his feet firm and say “NO” to her. Also, he didn’t want the world to see how much he suffered. He was weak to portray myself as weak. But it has now turned to a case of discovering what he had actually let people do to him, mentally. And the first word of realization came down shrieking- “hurt”.

She is still there, around him as a looming darkness with a fake smile. She is there, close by, with negative vibes to pull him down and drown him at the bottom of the sea. She was there, at a hand’s distance with her unmasked jealousy that made him feel even more depressed. He knew her presence next to him was just not because of her affection, but just to take a front seat to see his downfall. Her helping hand was there just pull him under.

She was there around. She was the enemy in him.

And thus ego and disloyalty ended their 15 year-long marital knot.

Story of an ancient mystery

juliet

Second Time Around” in response to this prompt from February 5th.

This just makes me sit down, read, read and read till the last page. Yes. And I don’t think I would stop at two. I fell in love with the star-crossed lovers from Shakespeare’s famous tragedy who found another life through Anne Fortier’s “Juliet”.

There had been books that had caught my attention and made me want to sit down and read them twice. But, nothing crosses the high probability that “Juliet” holds on me. Whenever I’m confused about what to read during leisure or otherwise, there is just an image of a thickly-bound, lightly yellowish paperback that comes to my mind- Juliet.

When I’d picked it up during a book fair, it had never occurred to me that the book would take me on a long journey to Italy’s Siena and most importantly, on an interesting time travel, back in history. To the 1300s to be exact.

Well, its definitely not a book that talks more about Shakespeare’s Romeo and Juliet in a different way. It goes way back in history with its protagonist Julie Jacobs finding the key to an ancient family treasure hidden deep down in the city of Siena, pulling her back into history until she finds that her ancestors are part of Shakespeare’s well known love story, Romeo and Juliet and that she, is a direct descendant of the actual Guiletta (Shakespeare’s Juliet). As she moves deeper into understanding what happened to her parent’s fatal car accident, she realizes that she is thrown into a vicious circle where power, wealth, greed and history merges to form an inescapable trap around her until she finds the treasure that rightfully belongs to her family and saves everyone from the ancient curse of “A plague on both your houses…”

The story is beautifully interwoven in the city of Siena which still stands tall as an ancient milestone of Italy’s civilization with capturing imagery and mind blowing descriptions fused into reality. The book has been loved into existence as has been the characters in it. Descriptions are never vague, turning pages do not become a boring exercise and you don’t read Juliet just for the sake of it. You read Juliet when you want to transport yourself into the past, learn about what roots have caused your existence and discover that love can happen in a strange and enthralling way.

Yes, because love always comes first and then you learn to live.

I recommend this book to everyone who loves Romeo and Juliet, is interested in getting yourself glued to turning pages and believes in true love, even after centuries.

 

 

Missing story #123467748863983…..

My first prompt try. Thanks to Daily Post’s “My Favorite” for letting me try to write on this prompt.

Well, when exactly was the last time I missed him? There were many last times and it’s pretty difficult to stop at one!

I couldn’t rest! My hands kept pulling the ends of the t-shirt he had given me. His favorite and now, mine too. That huge smiley face at the center with nothing more than an expanse of faded whiteness around. I knew just well why it was his favorite! It was mine, because it was his most-preferred. I drank in the feel of the cloth and consoled myself with the thought that I’d finally gotten hold of something which was his. Other than his heart, of course! ❤  Something I could touch, feel and hold. Something that would actually help me feel him beside me, drink in his scent and convince myself that this missing would in fact, end one day! This was exactly what I needed till the next time I saw him. It was my precious gift- what I would hold close to my heart and to which I would never let a fleck of dust cling.

And that day, I clung to it. My fingers wrapped around the edges of the fabric as we both turned our backs on each other and walked in the opposite ways- he to the Departures gate and me, out of the airport. I couldn’t hold the tears, but I couldn’t let him see them. They were the power of my emotions strangled within me that day, waiting for that moment when I would unleash them. I couldn’t turn around and look at those beautiful pair of eyes that followed my path till the moment they disappeared behind the crowd. I couldn’t look at him and let the realization sink in that those two wonderful days had finally come to an end. My fantasies had become a reality and I was crazily missing him. I knew it the moment I saw that face, when I saw those eyes reading everything that i was trying to hide, judging every movement of my lips, feeling every ragged breath i took and waking every nerve that was latent until then.

I walked out, not thinking about anything else but the call he gave me moments back. And I heard exactly what I wanted to, without skipping a breath. My eyes were clouded and thoughts, more so. I feebly asked the employees there for a way out and silently made my way to the station.

I walked alone and I missed him even more, like no one ever would.

The Nicest Rude place to be

It had actually never occurred to me of how rude people could turn out to be in the end. And you have to be that extra bit careful while dealing with them again(hopefully not!) Well, rude is not the right word. Maybe I can take the liberty of taking it up to ‘Arrogance”.

Yeah! Now that’s more like it! Sounds cool? NO? Well… it certainly isn’t! To be at the receiving end of all that haughtiness, time and again is definitely not cool.

People have always intrigued me- their actions, words, mood shifts and more of that. And I rarely find them stable these days. (Well, it wasn’t like I’d given much thought to stability myself, prior to this!) Its so difficult to find a person not just with a mature character, but a mature and stable one at that. Shifting opinions, showing their damn diabolic tails, lies and more lies seem to be the only solution to problems all around. It might even seem like there cannot be a way out without framing a lie. And these lies! What do they know about hurting another person? Do they feel? Do they care?

For that too, there would be just lies! Insensitive and unyielding like a bitter syrup. It just lingers there for that extra minute to bother you and make your nerves throb out of that irritation. I know I might sound like an authoritative and experienced person speaking. But hey! Its me and I’m worthy of 2 decades of life to my credit so far. But experiences. Yes, I would contently add a tonne to my credit.

I can add them like coins to my wallet or stamps to my collection. But, they turn out to be the dust that clings to my shirt, unattended, but still there, leaving an unwanted dirty trail along and up until it stops.

Experience has taught me not to trust people as their opinions shift, minds change, feelings fade and promises break! Hope experience does teach me the other side of the story, too. Maybe in less than 2 decades? Well, I wouldn’t wanna wait for long to be proven wrong just in this case though.

Now it does feel better! You know, writing does the trick always.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Firsts are the best!

Traveling by oneself is a different experience altogether. And thats exactly what I did today. 
An hour long journey and I never got bored. Of course, my phone was my constant companion. Being in the midst of one of the busiest and unhygienic place, it does take a great deal to travel in the sub urban trains of Chennai. The heat defeats all your intentions, the dirt drowns your sense of beauty, but travel I did. It sure was my first and best experience. 
Faces kept coming in between my road. Some smiled, a sly, irritating one, some looked down and others checked me out. Well, one has to be very cautious about what one wears to the local stations. The lesson was learned already, so modesty was my wear. Without a company, I looked around freely, absorbing the real element of my place. I wasn’t in the mood for conversation and neither was I obliged to make one as I traveled alone. I was free and surprisingly, I felt comfortable in the midst of loneliness.

Stations passed by quickly and I never noticed. I was preoccupied with my job of observing people. Some dozed off silently, others had earphones plugged into their heads. Some others were busily reading the newspaper, guess household work left them no time to that! I was fascinated by the usual scene in trains-women screaming loudly into the mouthpieces of their mobiles as if the whole world was theirs and however loudly they spoke, it seemed as though only the person on the other side would listen. People also came around selling articles-both handmade and traded, screaming again in the toppest their vocal chords would allow. That was what I hated about this place. The noise, the screams and the dirty bitching the vendors do if you pass by them without buying their produce.

Why had it never occurred to me that traveling, and more importantly, traveling alone, could actually help me to unwind and look deeper and closer at the world that thrived around me? Yeah, that was maybe because I never gave it a shot until today!
        The memory of the journey still brings a smile to my face, a quick pulse to my veins and color to my cheeks. It’s not always that you do something for the first time. That first is always, the best.
Always.

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#Chennai