A friend of mine recently asked me if I remembered his birthday. I coolly said, “Hey, it’s on February 18. I do remember okay!”
And he asked me if I remember wishing him on his birthday this year. And surprisingly, I was taken aback. Because, honestly I didn’t remember. And I told him so too.
But later when I thought about how I could possibly forget if I wished a friend of mine whose birthday was just a couple of months back, I figured out I didnt remember what it felt like to have lived in February itself! It seemed like a month from a decade ago. For being someone who remembers even the Hindi poem I learned in 4th grade, this came as a shocking revelation to me! I mean, of course there were things like recipes and phone numbers I couldn’t memorise, but recollection had never been a problem for me. I realized it was not basically my ability to recollect that seems to have suffered a setback, but my ability to connect with a period that seems long lost. My under-grad life. My hostel life- when things happened unplanned and even for no reason. And those were things that stayed in my mind.
Now it almost seems like I’m trying to recollect what February even felt like. What exactly happened during Feb 2016 that I should never forget? (Apart from my best friend’s birthday!) Something told me that we successfully conducted “Silver jubilee celebrations” of my department. Did we? Was it this year ir the previous one?
Scurrying through the pictures, frantic as I was, I learned that there were quite a lot more to Feb than I could possibly remember now, sitting in my bedroom.
Life has become monotonous and not happening. There’s nothing thrilling or adventurous other than a call to my favourite person across the globe, hiding from my family in the room upstairs, or a movie outing with my friends. Sometimes falling sick gives me a new experience too. I’ve become pathetic, I know. But I don’t seem to have any remembrance of living through a phase, just a couple of months back, that had been a life changer. Even February seems hard to recollect, now that I’m at home. Complacency has crept into my dailiness. And as much as I hate to admit, I miss being away from home and learning new things, making memories…because that was the only way I knew to break the web of complacency that has built up around me.
When you are away chasing your dreams, all you ever want to do, is come back home.
But once you are home, you realise how much you miss being away.